Big Picture Relationship Transformation: San Francisco Bay Area Couples Therapy, Sex Therapy & Relationship Coaching

Let us pause and consider an eagle’s point of view on life and relationship. Having a big picture perspective will allow us to navigate the various challenges that come up on a day to day basis with more clarity and analytical precision. Perspectives, I found are best seen by asking the right questions. So right away the first question is:

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What are the big picture questions you are asking yourself?


Are you continually asking yourself, “why is my relationship so hard?” or  “how come I can’t find the right person?”

Your mind will always help you find the answer to your questions, so be careful what you ask yourself! The answer may come either right away through intuition or it will come to you in your life through synchronicity (life circumstances reflecting back to you, your truth).  

When considering all big picture questions, we must take into consideration the purpose of our life itself. The purpose of life is to be yourself. Your REAL SELF. To act authentically. This is done through heeding the impulse of passion, or excitement in every moment. When we look around us, it is very clear that most people are not acting authentically, and that is the result of much of the tension we see in the world. Our real selves, operate on a higher frequency and exist beyond negative emotions most importantly fear. Love, peace, and passion are good signposts for clocking when the real self is present.


So in light of this context, the big picture questions I invite you to ask yourself are the following:


If you are currently in a relationship: How can I create the most exciting relationship possible?

If you are currently single: How can I attract MY ideal partner?


Notice that the question has an empowering frame, meaning that it is inherently acknowledging that the questioner has full power over manifesting their reality and creating the situation that they prefer. There is no one else that has the responsibility for creating the life we want, than ourselves.  So we must acknowledge that in order to own it, and thus truly present ourselves in a powerful way.

San Francisco Couples Counseling and sex therapy

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Powerful questions lead to powerful answers which lead to powerful results when acted on powerfully.


Let’s start with how to attract the ideal partner. In short to manifest your ideal partner, you must act and be your ideal self. This doesn’t mean that you have to create a perfect life first. But in your moment to moment presence, are you choosing to show up as your most true version for THAT moment wherever you are on your path?  Whatever is holding you back from showing up authentically (either a fear or a false belief) can be transformed through personal development.

When you put the vibration of your truest self out into the world, you allow the world to reflect back to you what really is in alignment with you. Most people put out mixed signals or false identities, usually for fear that if they present their true self, they will be rejected. But, it is the very act of welcoming your ideal self, that also allows you to welcome your ideal partner. Let’s put this in more mundane terms like an online dating situation (ala ok-cupid or tinder). The idea is that you want to present yourself as the REAL you that you know yourself to be in this moment. You want to be so transparent that you may inevitably cause the majority of people to pass on connecting with you, but the few that do feel attracted will truly resonate with what you are putting out. Like a magnet, you always attract the right reflection for what you put out.

If you are in a relationship and you want it to be as exciting as possible, then the easiest way to do that is to 100% be yourself at all times. Speak your truth, no matter how vulnerable. When going out with your partner, think of what would be the most exciting thing for YOU to do with your partner. You will be surprised to see that going for what excites YOU, will also be exciting for your partner (as long as you are a true match).

Many of us struggle to know when we are acting as our true self. Or, we struggle on making that choice in every situation. This is the path of self mastery and personal and relationship transformation. I specialize in helping my clients like a tuning fork. Through sessions we clarify the dissonance and then tune to the resonance of our ideal selves, thus creating our reality in the most powerful way.

By Pej Mon